Proof of Payment

Yesterday, Urbanities was busted!! No trips to the jail or bail bondsman were involved, just the distinctly unpleasant experience of being cited by the Muniserable Railway’s fare collection police for “failing to display valid fare media.”

What happened was this: I was in the Muni Metro when the fare police came through the car asking passengers to present their proof of payment—a Fast Pass or transfer to show they had paid to enter the system. I opened my wallet and—uh oh, no Fast Pass! I told the fare police that I couldn’t locate my pass and was told in that flat emotionless voice that has come to be associated with police shows: “step out of the car, sir.”

The fare police escorted me out of the streetcar in the Van Ness station, to the sidelong glances and knowing looks of my fellow passsengers. In their eyes I was no longer one of them, I was a fare cheat, a scofflaw. The fare police allowed me to look through my wallet for the pass but as I reconstructed my steps, I realized that my Fast Pass was no longer in my possession:

Flashback to when I entered Muni Metro at Embarcadero Station. What happened was this: I was carrying a large, bulky parcel that needed two hands to carry. I set it down on the fare gate while I inserted my Fast Pass through the slot. I picked up the parcel, but neglected to retrieve the pass after it was ejected by the fare gate. I told my story of woe to the fare police, but if I was expecting to receive sympathy or be let off I was sadly mistaken. But I did have something in my wallet that just might be the ticket: the receipt for the June Fast Pass. Since I had used my Safeway Club Card when I bought the Fast Pass, the receipt even had my name on it! I presented this proof of purchase to the fare police showing that beyond the shadow of a doubt I had purchased a Fast Pass at Safeway at 8:39 PM on May 30, but they weren’t buying it.Only a Fast Pass or transfer would do, not a receipt for a Fast Pass.

They were very nice as they wrote me out a citation. One of them even suggested that I would probably get off since I had the receipt for the pass. They told me the citation would be my “proof of payment” if I was stopped by the fare police again. Then they let me go not only having lost my Fast Pass in the middle of the month (at $45 a pop, not exactly cheap to replace) but having added insult to injury by citing me for it.

Urbanities does not think the fare police were wrong, exactly. The City has lost millions from fare evaders and they were just doing their job, but we respectfully suggest that absent-minded middle-aged white guys who forget their passes are not the culprit here. If they want to stop fare evasion why don’t the fare police go after the teenage boys who jump the fare gates like track stars jumping hurdles? I think they just went after me because I was an easier target.

The fare police told me to call the number on the citation in about a week. I tried it today and it is an automated menu tree. This promises to be fun! More later…